Watch Before You Read: https://youtu.be/TpTobIAecOc (includes 3 bonus stories)
I was advised to go to the Masters of Public Administration program for a year, readmit to the law school, and get a dual degree. Sounds simple and easy right? Yeah I thought so too...
Throughout the summer I continued to see my counselor, I continued to work at my internship, and I got a part time job. I was mentally struggling being at my internship with students that I knew were going to be returning to law school and I was not. However, I pressed on and had a very fulfilling experience. I created a great network and I really and truly respect and love the lawyers I worked with there. However, as I said earlier anger stuck with me longer than it needed too and if you watched the video above you heard how I stuck my foot in my mouth because of it (If you haven't watched the video, shame on you lol)!
I joined the MPA program Fall 2018 not knowing what an MPA was, but this was my plan B. A masters program and a law school program are vastly different and I was not feeling the MPA program at all for the first few months. You would think I would be happy to to have this opportunity, but I honestly just felt like a failure and I couldn't see the beauty in pursuing this degree. The only thing replaying in my head was, this is not what I expected to be doing right now. So I did not embrace the opportunity, I did to embrace my classmates, my professors, or the department. I went to school and went home. I only talked to the other law school students who were there too.
Eventually, I warmed up to the MPA program and I learned that it is a degree I actually want, and it is very useful to my interests in nonprofit management and public policy. However, even with this new found outlook I was still internally broken. The little bits of joy always got clouded by my unwillingness to accept my new reality. Especially because all the while in my first year in the MPA program I was building my portfolio to readmit into the law school.
It is now the end of my first year in the MPA program. I registered for summer classes, I turned in my letter requesting readmission to the law school, I was just patiently waiting to on my hearing date with the standards committee.
One by one my classmates receive their emails about their hearing date.
I never receive one.
I instantly give up and I thought, well maybe everybody does not get one. After some encouraging words by my great friend, Dominion, I reached out to the chair of the standards committee and politely asked why I did not receive a hearing. And that went a little something like this:
To: Professor Anonymous
Hope this email finds you well. I was informed that hearings for readmission were being scheduled. I did not receive an email for a hearing. I submitted my letter to Dean Blank on March 20th. Is it that I am ineligible to readmit? If so, would I be offered a reasoning for this decision or be able to correct my petition in order to become eligible?
From: Professor, Anonymous
Date: Wed, May 1, 2019 at 12:19 PM
To: Haynes, Jada I
Ms. Haynes,
The Student Handbook states that persons who are petitioning for readmission to the Law School are required to include current contact information (email, mailing address, phone number) in their petition for readmission. Your failure to comply with this requirement resulted in my having to utilize the most current contact information that was available in the Law School files. After receiving a cryptic response from the email I sent you, I prepared a letter that was mailed today to the most recent mailing addresses we have on file for you. The email that was sent to you earlier is set out below.
Ms. Haynes,
This email is to inform you that the Standards Committee will meet on Friday, May 17 at 12:00 noon at the School of Law to consider your petition for readmission. Please confirm receipt of this email and let me know if you wish to appear before the Standards Committee. The tentative location for the hearing is(-) in the clinical area. If you plan to appear before the Committee, when you arrive at the front desk at the School of Law, please ask for directions to Room (-) and wait in the student seating area until a member of the Committee comes to greet you.
You should refer to Sections 1.11-02 – 1.11-04 of the Student Handbook for procedures on readmission. To be readmitted, you must demonstrate that extraordinary circumstances caused your substandard academic performance and that these problems have been resolved. You must also be prepared to comply with any requirements imposed by the Standards Committee as a condition for your readmission should the Committee grant your petition. If you have any questions, please contact me at anonymous.edu
From: Jada Haynes
Thank you Professor Anonymous. Sorry for the inconvenience and the mistake on my behalf. I will be attending the hearing and wish to appear in front of the standards committee on May 17th at 12:00.
So as you all can see I messed up and I was prepared to take the L. I accepted that I did not have my contact information on the letter, but in my defense I honestly did not think about it because I was still enrolled in the same university and I put my I.D. number on the letter, which contains all my correct and updated information. I would have humbly accepted a response of Ms. Haynes you broke one rule so you're out, but for me she did the most and here's were things start not to sit right with me.
First: She stated she used my most recent contact information on file with the school. My most recent contact information is the same. Same email address (personal and school). Therefore, you did not send the email to the correct person or you typed it in wrong. You act as if I intentionally sent a cryptic message back to you when this is literally my entire future on the line.
Second: She mailed the letter to my home address in Georgia. That would have been totally fine however, the email and letter had totally different messages. When my mom got the letter in the mail it said, "Your meeting with the standards committee is May 17th at 9:45." In the email it says, "your meeting with the standards committee it May 17 at 12:00 and to confirm you wish to appear in front of the standards committee." I have two different dates and to different messages. I asked my other classmates and their message also said you have to confirm. So that tells me that you never expected me to email you. If I did not email Professor Anonymous I would have shown up at the wrong time, with no confirmation, and she would have turned me away.
Needless, to say after worrying myself with those details, I was not happy about this meeting. All of the confidence I had while building my portfolio flew out of the window. I told several people that I know it is over for me. They are not going to care about what I have to say now. I basically spoke failure into existence.
So the big day came and I put my suit on and I tried to motivate myself as much as possible, but I was extremely nervous. I went in confident and I told my story. I went through the portfolio and two out out the four seemed very impressed, smiling and inquiring about my academic success. One of them kept drilling me about frivolous things such as when I last saw J (which eventually made me tear up) but I kept reverting the conversation back to:
I did not fail one class first or second semester.
I was involved in student organizations and competitions (I won Professor Anonymous Closing Statement Competition).
I met with the tutor assigned to me by student support and went to after school study sessions.
I stayed connected with the law school through out the summer working with my legal writing professor to keep up my skills.
I met with every one of my professors after dismissal.
And number four, Professor Anonymous stayed silent the entire time. She did not engage, she did not ask me one question, she was stiff as a board!
Now here is where things start falling a part again for me mentally. Once the meeting was over I said, "Thank you for your time, you can keep the portfolios, I made them for you all." Mind you, in the student handbook it says to bring evidence to support your petition. This portfolio is my evidence, I had letters of recommendation, writing samples, transcripts, a goals statement, a plan for success if readmitted, etc.
Well Professor Anonymous decides to speak now and she collected the portfolios from the other three and said, "No thank you we have all that we need." At the time that felt very weird to me because this is my evidence, you don't have this information because I am just giving it to you; but I did not question it. Later that day I speak with Dominion and she told me about her experience with the committee (which was totally opposite of my grilling session) and guess what. they kept her portfolios!
When I say instant break down!!!
I was devastated, I knew it was over for me. I knew they gave me that hearing to check off a box and everything I said went in one ear and out of the other. Of course no one would let me think like this and offered encouraging words, but that was hard for me to accept.
After speaking to Professor Favorite who had been giving me great advice about this process and who has the inside scoop on most things. She told me that the committe was impressed with the portfolios. She did admit that it was odd that they did not keep a copy of mine and that it was weird that Professor Anonymous did not ask me any questions.
So now all that is left for me to do is wait on the decision.
Find out the Standards Committee's decision in Journey to J.D. Part 3: Plan B Continued
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