Usually I am a vision board queen but this year feels super intimate so I chose to write a
letter to myself instead. I started therapy in October and since then I have had a feeling that I cannot describe but it just feels like something is trying to break out of me. I feel some sort of renewed spirit and I feel like a better Jada is finally ready to shine. I don't exactly know when and how it will manifest but I really feel like I am floating in a good realm right now.
In my therapy sessions I have unpacked and reopened feelings and situations that I thought I had healed from. The best thing that has happened with this is that I have finally learned the healing isn't a one stop shop. Things that helped me cope in the past did not necessarily mean I am healed and over everything. For months prior to starting therapy, I would would either feel like I was just floating in a state of numbness, I felt nonchalant and like didn't care or I was back sad about basically all the things I have talked about is past blogs. I told my therapist that I am sooo tired of myself. I am tired of feeling okay or thinking I am happy one month and then the next month I am crying and caring about the same things over and over again. Fortunately, after three months of sessions we have really dug deep into truly getting to the root of my feelings, learning about setting real boundaries that I never set, and ultimately empowering me to build my confidence and self-worth.
The best thing she has said to me that I wrote a million times in my letter to myself and that I pray everyday now is to let things just be. Sounds so simple right? Well for me it wasn't. I have a tendency to try to manipulate every situation, conversation, and outcome of every aspect of my life. I am an over thinker and I try to prepare for every detail of my life so when things change I get flustered because that is not what I planned.
So in 2022 I am simply just letting things be and letting life unfold naturally. Once I master this I know my fears and anxiety will be gone because I learned to be okay. To truly accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.
That is my challenge to you all reading today. Sit down and reflect on what you want out of 2022. Whether it be a vision board, a letter to yourself, a prayer jar, etc. Just do something for you. Take time to let go and let things just be!
Mood: Big - Pastor Mike Jr.
Check out my Youtube video: Writing a Letter to Myself and Bringing in 2022 in CLT